A House You Can Build
by SakuraDormitory
Summary: Sakurasou, the separate dormitory especially for Sui High's 'problem children', hadn't had any residents for over three years, but somehow the one and only Kamiigusa Misaki had managed to change that within her first few days of school. This was how the high school life she had dreamed about was to begin: in a sparse building, full of dreary hallways and cold, empty rooms.


**A/N: Misaki is one of those characters I never appreciated enough the first time watching, but absolutely love wholeheartedly since then. I wanted to write something from her perspective for some time, and I ended up combining that with my interpretation of how things went when Jin moved in to Sakurasou too.**

 **The title of this story comes from the asofterworld piece: "Happiness is not a house where you can live, but it is a house you can build."**

 **Dedicated to my best friend, who always listens to me go on and on about Sakurasou. Here's something about your favourites, and Sakurasou before it was the warm and happy place that everyone knows and loves.**

* * *

Sakurasou, the separate dormitory especially for Sui High's 'problem children', hadn't had any residents for over three years, but somehow the one and only Kamiigusa Misaki had managed to change that within her first few days of school.

She hadn't even managed a full week in the regular dorms before the school board had decided to move her.

Probably a new record, Misaki thought glumly as she dragged her luggage up to the front gate.

The entrance was just as gloomy and unwelcoming as the rest of the building and the dark streets behind her. Although she had already been told that she would be the first student at Sakurasou for quite some time, the image of cheerful upperclassmen waving and waiting for her in the doorway had been too nice for her to fully put out of her mind.

Nothing looks particularly welcoming in the dark. It'll look much more homely in the daylight, Misaki told herself firmly. Remembering how her sister had suggested humming to herself to ease her nerves before taking the Sui High entrance exam, she tried doing the same to keep her spirits up.

As she reached the doorway, the street lights behind her flickered on one by one. Shivering a little, Misaki opened the door to her home for the next three years.

This was how the high school life she had dreamed about was to begin: in a sparse building, full of dreary hallways and cold, empty rooms.

* * *

Chihiro, the building's supervisor and also one of Misaki's art teachers, had cultivated a reputation of being tactless, loud and often drunk. Right from their first meeting, Misaki liked her a lot.

It didn't take long for Chihiro to warm up to her either, thanks to Misaki successfully winning her over with a combination of warm, well-cooked food and firm determination to turn the building into somewhere not only passably habitable, but also genuinely nice to live in. She only allowed herself one day to mope around feeling sorry for herself before firing herself up with determination to make Sakurasou as homely as Sui High's regular dormitories.

"If it means less work for me, I'm certainly not going to complain," Chihiro remarked when asked if she would mind Misaki making decorative changes to the building. "Go wild." She watched her from the kitchen doorway, looking almost impressed as Misaki deftly scrubbed down every surface until it shone.

But the motivation was forced, and her heart wasn't in any of it. Even if she could have completely refurbished the building, the rooms upstairs would stay cold and empty. She was still the only student at Sakurasou. The only one enough of a problem to end up moved there in over three years.

Making the best out of being alone was what Misaki has been doing for her whole life, but somehow she still managed to be hopeless at it.

Her second week of school was one of the most miserable ones she could remember.

* * *

"You've been quieter than usual," Jin observed, knocking her elbow lightly as they both leaned over the railing and stared out at the buildings around Sui High. Sakurasou was visible to the left, but both of them seemed to be avoiding looking at it.

Misaki pulled a face, not surprised that he had noticed, but disappointed that she hadn't been better at hiding it all the same.

"How's Sakurasou?" Jin asked after a moment. Still looking out at the scenery ahead, he tilted his head a little to give the impression of being focused on it. The attempt was passable; it looked almost as if his attention wasn't completely on Misaki's reaction.

She couldn't bring herself to save face and lie to him, settling with a noncommittal sound and shrug instead.

Unconvinced, Jin dropped his act – which seemed to cost him something – and frowned at her.

"You can tell me if something's bothering you, you know."

For a moment, she really wanted to. She was almost ready to open up and tell him about how silent and creepy it was there, that Chihiro was hardly ever around, and she missed him and Fuuka, and how all the other rooms next to hers were so bare and cold and empty...

The moment passed as soon as it came. A couple of students from the main school passed by in a group, waving Jin over to them. With an awkward, mumbled apology to her, he jogged over to join them, and she was left alone once again.

* * *

If Misaki could say anything about about the effects of her efforts the next few weeks, it would be that she was trying .

She spent hours outside pulling up weeds and raking over fresh soil, wishing she knew more about cultivating a garden. When the ground was clear and free of weeds, she sent an email to Chihiro - and after a moment of hesitation, to Jin and Fuuka too - asking what kind of seeds she should look for.

I've finished weeding the garden at Sakurasou! (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑  
What kind of flowers should I plant?

Just pick whatever looks nice Jin, the first to reply, offered, not particularly helpfully. When prompted him for a more specific answer, he supplied some vague descriptions of the flowers he was thinking of since he couldn't remember any of their names. 'I think they were pink with curved petals?' wasn't really very much to go on.

Nothing poisonous was the only response she got from Chihiro.

Fuuka didn't answer at all.

After giving up on the garden (only temporarily, she assured herself), Misaki moved back to brightening up the interior. Even if she was miserable about her living space, even if her heart wasn't in all the decorating she had planned, she was sure that she would feel better for it when everything was finished.

She was pretty successful in just about everything she made, and she was especially proud of her handmade, hand-painted kitchen sign, deliberately made in the brightest colours of paint she could find.

When Chihiro heard about her mission, she volunteered a vase to the cause, one she had been given for a past birthday and hadn't yet thrown out, which Misaki proudly displayed in the hallway. She made a temporary arrangement out of some of the prettier looking weeds she had pulled out earlier, with the intention of buying some nice flowers from the market later, at least until the garden outside was in full bloom.

She couldn't do much about decorating the other bedrooms, but she could at least keep them clean and tidy so they would be ready in case... no, no, when new students did end up moving in. She'd lose heart if she didn't at least try to hope for some companions at some point.

At first glance from the doorways of each the rooms hadn't seemed too bad, but closer inspection of them revealed that they were in quite desperate need of cleaning. All the dust and dirt reminded Misaki all the more of how long the place had been empty for, so she made sure to tackle each room in broad daylight, curtains pulled back, humming along to a theme song for Nyaboron that she and Jin had come up with a year ago, to minimize that hollow, empty feeling in her chest.

Working on Nyaboron felt too painful right now, but one of the reasons she had come to Sui High was in order to further her animation skills and she was adamant that she would put her all into that. It would be nice to make progress with at least one of her goals.

Between school hours, drawing practice and other study time, it took her a good few weeks, but Misaki cleaned the whole building from top to bottom. She managed to implement quite a few of her less ambitious design ideas too: Chihiro had put her foot down when it came to actually changing the structure of the building, so she couldn't install the elevator she had had in mind, but the kitchen, bathroom and entrance hall all looked a lot more cheerful with the decorations she had found. The cleaning and decorating gave her something to do other than schoolwork, at least. Her heart wasn't really in her animations right now.

"You're doing very well in class, why do you always look so grim?" Her feet propped up on the chair opposite her, Chihiro stared Misaki down. She maintained eye contact as Misaki stirred two mugs of coffee, waiting for an answer.

"Just tired," Misaki mumbled in response, not meeting Chihiro's eyes as she passed her one of the mugs. She was tired, so it wasn't entirely a lie. Staring at her own drink, she felt the exhaustion crash over her even as she spoke. Somehow she had managed to brighten up the entire building all by herself, but the feeling of accomplishment she had felt upon finishing had only lasted as long as it took for her to walk around the building admiring her work, and come to halt outside each of the five empty bedrooms.

"You certainly look it." Chihiro took a long sip, and gave Misaki a thumbs up of approval before downing the rest. "You need rest, not caffeine, Kamiigusa. You don't have classes tomorrow, take advantage of it and get some extra sleep for once."

To Misaki's credit, she did try. It was the one thing she was good at doing, after all.

Early bedtimes had never worked for her and this one was no exception. After spending the last half an hour aimlessly tossing and turning, by ten past eleven she had given up.

Usually she would've sneaked out to knock on Jin's window, or slipped into the next room to crawl into Fuuka's bed until her sister protested her cold feet and shoved her out. Nine times of ten, she would let her back in with only some muttered complaints and a request for her to wear socks. Neither of those were options right now.

Instead, Misaki pulled her legs up to her chest in the hope of conserving some warmth, and tried to think of some alternatives.

Her phone sat temptingly at the side of her dresser, but she looked pointedly ahead to keep it out of her line of vision. If Jin wasn't already asleep, he would no doubt be busy having fun with his new friends, and Fuuka probably wouldn't take kindly to being woken up for a late night chat.

Not that her sister needed to know how lonely she was, after all the build up about getting into Sui High and her hope of finally making some friends. Misaki didn't need anyone else knowing how much of a failure she was, so Fuuka, and their parents too, were all firmly ruled out.

Her books and game consoles were there, cluttered shadows spread out across the floor, but she wasn't in the mood. It was company that she wanted. Someone to talk to.

Please don't have gone out again, Chihiro-sensei...

All of her fingers crossed, Misaki made her way, shivering, through the upstairs hall and towards the stairs. She tried not to look at the other bedrooms as she passed by. The doors were still slightly ajar to keep them aired, just how she had left them. Although they were dust and dirt free now, they would still be just as cold and as empty as the first night. There wasn't any need to torment herself further.

As expected, she was out of luck. When she hopped down from the last step, the first thing she noticed was that Chihiro's coat was missing from the hallway.

Half-heartedly, Misaki sloped into the kitchen to make herself something warm before braving upstairs again.

Misaki had always found warm drinks comforting. Warm food too, like the soup she had cooked for herself and Chihiro on her first full day here. It was one of her mother's favourite recipes.

Memories of home filled her head without warning. Cooking with her parents in the kitchen. Sharing hot pots with Jin and his family. Fuuka heating the two of them warm milk in matching mugs on winter evenings.

The kettle let out a high, shrill sound; bringing her from the warm kitchen at home back to the cold, dark one at Sakurasou. Leaning with her back to the counter as she took the first sip, Misaki tried to imagine being back there again, in her own kitchen at home with her parents and Fuuka waiting upstairs. The illusion had already faded, but she pulled up her sleeves, tucked both hands around her mug and closed her eyes anyway.

It didn't work a second time. Instead, when she opened her eyes, Misaki's attention was drawn to a print-out on the table that she hadn't noticed before. Setting her mug down next to it carefully, Misaki unfolded the letter. She skimmed it at first, and her heart skipped a beat when she reached the end.

She read it again, this time barely having a chance to register a couple of words on it before she was caught unaware by the unmistakable sound of the front door opening.

Another first year student...

...not suited to the regular dormitories...

...transferred to...

She stared at the letter, her gaze fixed on the name in bold at the end of the first line.

The door slammed shut, followed by the distinct sound of luggage being wheeled across the hallway floor. Slowly lowering her mug to the table, Misaki clutched the piece of paper to her chest, her hands shaking slightly.

"Surprise," said a familiar voice behind her.

The kitchen light flickered on.

Misaki whirled around to see her best friend leaning on his suitcase in the open doorway, one hand hovering over the light switch, the other raised in tentative greeting.

"Looks like I got kicked out of the regular dorms too. What are the odds, huh?" Rubbing the side of his face, he gave her an embarrassed, lopsided grin.

A moment of silence swelled between them.

On the counter behind Misaki, steam continued to rise from the now forgotten mug.

"So..." Jin coughed, shifting his feet from side to side. "What's it like here?" He took a few steps into the kitchen, looking first over at the table, and then around at the sink and countertop. "Wow, you've done a great job with the the place. The hallway looks nice too, from how gloomy the outside looks I was half expecting it to be covered with dust-"

Jin broke off as he saw Misaki's expression.

"Hey…"

Smiling properly now, he held his arms out when she stepped towards him. Fingers tightening around the fabric of his coat, she buried her face in his chest, tears spilling down her cheeks.

* * *

It was well past 3am by the time Chihiro arrived back, but Misaki had been insistent on doing introductions as soon as possible.

While waiting for her return, she had given Jin a full tour of the building, complete with details of all the future improvements she had in mind. After that, she had helped him unpack his belongings and settle into his room. She had almost started crying into one of his scripts once she had registered the whole process of the once empty room filled up with Jin's things, his striped duvet neatly folded at the end of his bed, the lamp he'd bought when they'd gone shopping for school supplies together months back, his collection of books lined up on one of the shelves she'd dusted the other day.

"So this is the other one, huh?" An empty can of beer dangling from one hand, Misaki's favourite teacher looked Jin up and down, arms folded over and the corners of her mouth turned down.

At Misaki's encouraging nudge, Jin offered his hand for her to shake. He was pointedly ignored.

"You're fine, Kamiigusa, but I don't know about this one. He's... too tall." Chihiro nodded, affirming her conclusion. "Seriously, how many first years are that height already? Shrink a bit, it makes us adults look bad." Pulling a face, she stumbled out of the kitchen, dropping the can in the direction of the bin on her way out. It hit the edge but fell inside anyway. "He can stay if he makes coffee as good as yours though!" her words echoed back to them through the hallway.

Eyebrows raised, Jin turned to look at Misaki for an explanation. Her arm still firmly linked through his, Misaki squeezed his hand, and just kept smiling and smiling.

* * *

Misaki's first year of high school was far from perfect. But from there, things got better.

Her first animation project turned out to be a success, and all signs pointed to her being able to make all the more progress in the following year. With Jin at her side and her passion for art and storytelling firing her up every time she put pen to paper, who knew how far she could keep going.

But by the time the end of the last term rolled around, she had still yet to make a single new friend – apart from Chihiro, who, knowing her would adamantly deny it – though she was making progress with Himemiya Saori, a girl in her year that Jin had introduced her to by his former roommate. She even had a perfect nickname for her planned out, and was just waiting for the right time to spring it on her.

Chihiro went out more times a week than she didn't, and it didn't take long for Jin to start doing the same. Misaki was left alone most nights, but somehow sleeping was easier with one less empty room on the next floor. When it was past 2am and the emptiness felt too much like a black hole eating away at her, she would gather her art supplies and take them downstairs to work on. There was no point trying in vain to get back to sleep when she felt like that, it was simply something she had to sit and wait out. Filling the waiting time with something productive felt better than aimlessly wandering the halls, and it usually tired her out soon enough for her to go to bed without the loneliness taking over her thoughts.

On the occasional nights when no one went out, Misaki would make hot drinks and the three of them would sit around watching TV, playing video games or just chatting until well past midnight. None of them ever seemed to get enough sleep.

There four remaining rooms upstairs stayed cold and empty throughout the next two terms. Sometimes the building felt lonely even on the nights when all three of them were downstairs together, like the building was one big jigsaw puzzle with key pieces still missing.

Still, the dim light from the dying bulb in the kitchen, the warmth from each of their mugs and Jin and Chihiro's quiet conversation around her was comforting, and that would have to be enough for now.

* * *

Being back at home was nice – nicer than Misaki had been expecting.

Her parents were delighted to see her again and Fuuka was in a much better state than Misaki remembered her last. Independence away from her family had probably been doing Fuuka a world of good. She had a kind of glow that Misaki has never recognized in her before.

Last time Misaki had come back for the holidays her sister hadn't. Fuuka's absence had been very much noticed, though she and Jin hadn't really made a point of talking about her.

It had been almost two years, but she still wasn't sure if her sister was completely over Jin. Or the other way round, as much as it hurt to think about. Neither she or Fuuka really brought him up in conversation, but Misaki still felt like it was very much an out of bounds subject.

Soon enough, the start of the next year rolled around.

Fuuka went back a week early, but she hugged Misaki before leaving and told her to call anytime. She'd try and answer her messages more, she promised, and had the grace to look slightly guilty.

"By the way, did you plant that garden you were talking about?"

Misaki shook her head, not hiding her surprise that Fuuka had remembered.

With everything else going on the previous year, the garden had taken a backseat and the year had passed without much being done except the occasional weeding. The tree in the centre kept it from being completely depressingly empty, but she still had a vision of a garden full of flowers that she was hoping to achieve next term.

"Well, if you're still planning on it, we have some pretty flowers at my school, and they look really lovely in the spring. I'll send you some pictures."

* * *

The train ride back to school was quiet, at least in comparison to the loud and emotional farewell Misaki's parents had given her and Jin as they waved them off at the station.

Jin sat next to her on the train, a slight but deliberate space between them. His attention was completely on the notebook in his lap: open at the first draft of a new script he had started over the break.

She should have held onto one of her sketchbooks. Glad that she had picked the window seat since it at least gave her something to look at, Misaki watched the sky and the clouds zoom past. If they were still kids she would have leaned her head on Jin's shoulder and dozed off. Although the years had passed, the desire to do that hadn't faded in the slightest.

"I wonder if we'll make any new friends," Misaki said suddenly. She didn't specify that she was thinking of ones at Sakurasou, but the implication was there and Jin seemed to understand.

"There's going to be a whole new year of students, so I'd say it's pretty likely."

Misaki hummed in approval.

Another silence stretched between them, and she wished again that she had remembered to leave a sketchbook in her hand luggage.

"Oh! We should plan something nice for the newcomers!" Misaki's knees knocked against Jin's as she jolted in her seat abruptly.

"Plan something for them? Like what?" Pen paused mid-word, Jin blinked back at her.

"A welcome party!"

She had an idea to focus on now, and it was a good one too. Without waiting for Jin to catch up, she started to reel off potential plans. Hanging streamers in the hallways and on the stairs. A painted banner with the names of the new residents. A celebration dinner than she and Jin could cook together. A hot pot party!

Jin stared at her in surprise for a moment, and Misaki made an impatient motion at him as she kept talking. With a fond smile and shake of his head, Jin flipped to the back of his notebook and started to scribble them down.

* * *

"Kamiigusa. Mitaka."

"Chihiro-sensei!"

"Good to see you again, sensei."

On the first day of the new school year, Chihiro greeted Jin and Misaki by glaring at them and waving a piece of paper in their faces before the two of them had even made it inside the building.

"Great start to the damn year: the board is sending another one of you lot down here. Before the term's even officially started. As if two wasn't enough."

Their party plans tucked safely under his arm, Jin exchanged a look with Misaki, his grin almost as wide as hers.

Jin headed straight upstairs to unpack, but Misaki lingered by the front door as Chihiro stomped back into the kitchen, scrunching up her letter and grumbling. The smell of coffee wafted out into the hallway. As Chihiro slammed the door shut, the colourful sign that Misaki had painted last term clattered against it.

Her phone buzzed with a message from Fuuka: several photographs of the flowers she had promised attached and a few brief lines wishing her the best of luck for the new school year.

She looked over at the stairs, thinking of the empty rooms there.

Which room would the newcomer stay in? What would they be like?

Misaki hung her coat up between Chihiro's and Jin's and slid her shoes off. She turned to face the hallway of Sakurasou: her home for two more years.

There would be at least one less empty room this time. She and Jin would be the upperclassmen that weren't there for her, cheerfully waiting to greet their new companion. Misaki had plenty more plans in mind for how to improve Sakurasou, starting with the garden, and fully intended to draft Jin, Chihiro and the newcomer in to help her.

With that in mind, the place felt just a little bit warmer and more welcoming.


End file.
